I’ve never seen Star Wars

Oct 15, 2009

Star Wars Newspaper

ITEM: I’ve never seen “Star Wars”. I managed to avoid the first film in 1977 and since then I’ve studiously avoided all sequels, prequels, TV showings, cartoons, books and comics bearing the logo “Star Wars”. Its odd (considering what a voracious reader of Science Fiction I used to be) that films and TV shows in that format rarely attract my interest. I found Star Trek to be ludicrous. Kirk’s “Captain Slog”, where he loves and leaves a succession of alien princesses. The squeaky clean future of the “Next Generation”. Plots forever left hanging in “Time Tunnel” “Lost in Space” and “Land of the Giants”. Did they ever get home? Our own cash-strapped, unintentionally-funny “Blakes 7” and “Dr Who”. 100s of bad US TV shows from “Incredible Hulk”, “Lexx” and “Sliders” to “Buck Rodgers” and “Flash Gordon”. I watch them for five minutes and then my interest fades…..

As my TV has been taken over by “Emmernation Strictly Come X Factor Dale Street” I go and sit in a corner and read a comic until its all over. But I thought I’d give a few new TV shows the benefit of the doubt. The first episode of the american version of “Life on Mars” was pointless. The original UK version did it all so much better. The latest incarnation of “Stargate” actually made me laugh out loud. A stereotypical overweight “computer geek” teenager is brought in as a technical expert just because he’s good at role-playing games on his PC. Yeah, right. I’m still undecided about “Flash Forward”. Can they maintain the mystery for 24 weeks? I’m pretty sure the reason for all the blackouts will turn out to be…..no, perhaps I’d better not say……….Hopefully the plot won’t fizzle out like “Lost”.

There have been a few TV shows with a science fiction theme that have held my interest :-

“Seven Days” had an almost-believable (and unreliable) method of time travel based on something recovered from the Roswell alien crash site. “The Sarah Jane Adventures” and “Torchwood” were superior spin-off series from “Dr Who”. “Randall and Hopkirk (deceased)” featured a white-suited Kenneth Cope as a ghost only his partner could see.  “Goodnight Sweetheart” saw time travel used as a handy means of being unfaithful to your wife without her being able to find you out. It also explored what would happen if you made a financial investment/bought property 50 years ago and then immediately returned to the present to find yourself rich !!


And not forgetting “Primeval”, “UFO”, “The Prisoner”, “Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy” and of course “The Avengers” which were all entertaining in their own different ways.

PS: I’ve never had a SatNav device either. Here’s poor old Batman back in the “Golden Age” lost and having to ask directions. A different world !!

Sat Nav Batman