Chuck Lorre revisited

Oct 1, 2019

Way back when dinosaurs still roamed the earth (4th July 2011 to be precise) I mentioned my accidental discovery years previously of Chuck Lorre’s Vanity Cards. Re-visiting his site I see that, sadly, the last one was published earlier this year.
http://www.chucklorre.com/

PS: The odd thing is I’ve never seen a single episode of 99% of his TV shows The Kominsky Method, Young Sheldon, Mom, The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, Mike & Molly, Cybill, or Grace under fire. I must have seen a couple of episodes of Dharma & Greg to know Chucks Vanity Cards even existed. It’s a funny old world…..
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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #10
When I began writing these vanity cards, the premise was simple — it’s a vanity card — be vain. And what could be more vain and self-serving than to use my two seconds of ABC’s broadcast day to share my personal beliefs with millions of viewers? But as time passed I realized I was missing a major opportunity. Rather than just tell a few jokes, I could use the two seconds to unravel the mysteries of life and death and share my discoveries with those of you who can operate a VCR or log onto the Internet sites where my words are regularly posted (yes, I lurk). So, anyway, that’s the new plan. The meaning of life, once a week, right here at the end of each Dharma & Greg show. HOW’S THAT FOR VAIN, BUCKO?! Okay, let’s get started. The secret of life is we’re all writing a vanity card. I’m not kidding, follow me on this. If we’re in agreement with the concept “I think, therefore I am,” then what are we in those rare moments when we’re not thinking? Do we cease to be? No, of course not… unless we never “were” at all, unless our actual identity is a nothing that embraces everything, but an “everything” can’t look at itself so we create the illusion of separate selves, which leads to the illusion of survival, which of course leads to all of our pain and suffering. Pride, i.e. vanity, goeth before the fall. And you thoughteth I was joking.

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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #264
A guy goes into a dentist’s office. The dentist says, “How can I help you?”
The guy says, “I’m a moth.”
The dentist says, “Excuse me?”
The guy says again, “I’m a moth.”
The dentist says, “I think maybe you should be seeing a psychiatrist, not a dentist.”
The guy says, “I saw a psychiatrist.”
The dentist says, “So what are you doing here?”
The guy says…
(SEE PUNCH LINE IN VANITY CARD #265 AT END OF TONIGHT’S EPISODE OF YOUNG SHELDON)

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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #265
“Your light was on.”

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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #591
And so we begin the final leg of our journey. And oh what a journey it’s been. Over the last eleven years, babies were born, friends and loved ones passed away, marriages began with hope and love, while others ended with lawyers and shared custody. And through it all, through the ups and the downs, the laughter and the tears, we made a TV show that we loved, a TV show we were proud of. To those of you who have been with us from the beginning, and those who joined along the way, we want to take this opportunity to thank you all for going on this journey with us. And as for those of you who wished us ill, the haters, please know that while our feelings may occasionally have been hurt, we have always tried to understand and support your right to an opinion — even if it’s a meanspirited one. Of course it follows logically that we too should be allowed to voice our thoughts. So… “Go %#@% yourself.”

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PPS: Dunno why Chuck’s book sells for £100s at Amazon when it contains a mere portion of all the vanity cards available at http://www.chucklorre.com/

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ITEM:   There are only two interesting things about the american TV sitcom “Dharma and Greg”. Dharma’s pet dog Stinky has his own pet dog called Nunzio. For some reason that concept of a pet having a pet really amused me. The one other interesting thing about the show is the “page” of words that flash on screen during the end credits. When the show was current DVD recorders and PVRs and digital media were only just appearing. Most people still used VHS video recorders. If you had a really good one you might have the option of a stable freeze-frame where you could pause the tape and read what the producer had written. It was evidentally some in-joke between the producer Chuck Lorre and others. He called these pages his “vanity cards” and continued with the joke on other later TV shows he was involved in. Now in the Internet era you can read loads more at Chucks site  Perhaps these weekly writings by Chuck could be classified as early “blogs” ??

ITEM:    This is a useful place to visit. How Many Left. Even if you don’t have a “classic” car, perhaps your parents/relatives drove a Standard Ensign or a Talbot Tagora and you can amaze them/yourself with the mind-boggling statistics of how few survive. I looked up (my current project) Chrysler/Talbot Sunbeams and discovered that 555 remain from a production run of over 200,000 (and 246 of them are the “exotic” Lotus variants). So that leaves a mere 309 regular Sunbeams shining/clouding over in the UK with less than 100 of those actually taxed and still on the road. With regards Talbot Tagoras…I believe 8 are left and most of them are SORNed.

ITEM:   Another regular port of call has been the Radio Free Song Club . I can’t work out if it actually is a radio show or “just” a podcast. I’ve enjoyed all 14 episodes recently on my mp3 player. The band and singers and guests are great….particularly Peter Blegvad. And I think he was responsible for this odd but interesting drawing.