Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of me plight
For at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say why Murphy’s not at work today.

While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
But to toss them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn’t very pleased, he is an awkward sod
He said I had to cart them down the ladders in me hod.

Now shifting all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below
But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

And so when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket, then to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Now the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
I clung on tightly numbed with shock from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half its bricks some fourteen floors below.

Now when the bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel so I started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope, me body racked with pain
And half way down I met the bloody barrel once again.

Now the force of this collision halfway down the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock.
Still clinging tightly to the rope I fell toward the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round

As I lay there moaning on the ground I thought I’d passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I didn’t have a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel then being heavier, it started down once more
It landed right across me as I lay upon the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
I hope you’ll understand why Murphy’s not at work today.