Warren’s 1984 number two

I’ve just noticed that the girl’s hair has changed colour between the ad on the back of issue one and the front of issue two. From black to blonde…or is that white with fear. Can’t say I’d be too thrilled about being strapped to the outside of a rocket !!

The 9 stories in Issue two vary in quality from “readable” to “what the hell were they thinking of”. Most of the issue is written by Bill DuBay. The first story which is illustrated by Jose Ortiz is called “The Last of the Red Hot Lovers”. In a bleak radiation-contaminated future some men’s brains shrank whilst other men’s nether regions became radioactive and deadly to the opposite sex.

The next story, also by Bill DuBay is an unbelievably wordy account of another strange potential future. Mankind went out into the stars and found numerous other lifeforms. Yet on every other planet they found only single-sex races. There were no females anywhere in the universe apart from Earth. Earth females became prized throughout the cosmos. You can guess the rest.

“The Sure-fire Quick Carnage Self-Decimation Kit” yet again by Bill DuBay seems to owe its title, if not its whole premise to Jim Stenstrum’s “The Super-Abnormal Phenomena Survival Kit” from Warren’s Eerie from a couple of years earlier. Its a gruesome yet effective tale.

From the looks of things Wally Woods “One Night Down on the Funny Farm” appears to have been partially re-written by Bill DuBay. The script and the artwork seem completely unconnected.

“The Janitor” is a wordless story drawn by someone called “Nebot”. This looks like it may have first appeared in some European adult magazine.

“Messiah” illustrated by Rudy Nebres is again spoiled by the script.

I don’t know if it was intentional but the lead character in this story bears a resemblence to Conan the Barbarian.

The best story in 1984 number two is “The Microbe Patrol” written By Nicola Cuti and drawn by Abel Laxamana. Although it is derivative of the film “Fantastic Voyage” it does have an interesting “X” rated explaination of where all the previous microscopic ships had disappeared to.

I can only give this magazine 3 out of 10. Luckily I’ve just flicked through the next few issues and they do improve.