Xmas

My favourite Xmas song this year is about 15 years old (but it’s new to me). And I THINK it’s a Xmas song. I can’t make out many of the words. It’s still fab though and it goes something like this.

PS: And this one isn’t too shabby either.

PPS: But on reflection, apart from Bing crooning “White Christmas” this is still the best ever Christmas song.

Merry Christmas you suckers
you miserable men
That old festive season
is with you again.
You’ll be spending your money
on cartloads of junk.
And from here to New Year
you’ll be drunk as a skunk.

Merry Christmas you suckers
it’s perfectly clear
that you fall for it all
a bit sooner each year.
If it goes on like this
you will find pretty soon
that you’re singing White Christmas
as early as June.

This Christmas card racket
will cost you a packet.
Each season it seems to expand.
The cards are so clever
though nothing whatever
to do with the subject in hand.

You’ll be taking the kids round
the multiple stores
to be frightened to death by
some old Santa Claus.
Then it’s parties with spirits
and vino and beer.
Merry Christmas you suckers
and a happy New Year.

Merry Christmas you suckers
you bleary-eyed lot.
You’ll never get rid of
that headache you’ve got.
But I hope you feel splendid,
you certainly should,
with your stomachs distended
with turkey and pud.

Merry Christmas you suckers.
Jump into your cars.
Roar off to your neighbours
to sink a few jars.
Though your vision is double
just keep smiling through.
There are others in trouble
a lot worse than you.

Beyond any question
acute indigestion
will plague you
and make you unwell.
You won’t take the warning.
You’ll wake up each morning
undoubtedly feeling
like hell.

But stick to it suckers.
Go swallow a pill.
For this is the season of
peace and goodwill.
While we patiently wait for
that nuclear blast,
Merry Christmas you suckers.
It may be your last…..